LOSE 3-5 lbs IN JUST 3 DAYS!

OH people, I have found this new diet and you can lose 3-5 lbs in just 3 days! It worked for me!
It's called the flu diet. It's really simple. You catch the virus, and it does all the work! Just look at how great it works:
1. You get all the aches and pains, without having to exercise.
2. While you sleep, the aspirin breaks the fever and you wake up in a clammy sweat without even having to get out of bed. All kinds of calories are being sweated off.
3. It's a great appetite suppressant because the thought of food repels you.
4. You don't have to keep the house clean, because nobody wants to visit you with the flu.
5. You have an excuse to stay up and watch late night movies. Of course, with your head pounding so bad, you can't really enjoy it.
6. You get to shop....for Tamiflu and ibuprofen, that is.
7. It's a great time to catch up with your family doctor.
8. When you sit down to wait for your prescription, people get out of their seats to give you room for your purse. And if you cough, you get the whole row of seats.
9. You get to spend more time and money on the dr's visit and prescriptions than if you just got the flu shot.
10. It's easy to catch. I like to find my strand of the flu in the mall, children's play areas, or the gym.
11. Its a gift that keeps on giving.

So if you would like to lose 3-5lbs in the most miserable way, try this diet. If not, get your flu shot!